February 22, 2014 News By admin No Comments

WHO WILL RAISE YOUR KIDS IF THE UNTHINKABLE HAPPENS? Setting up an Estate Plan

Setting up a thorough estate plan is an essential element of safeguarding your family:

“I was never scared of dying, until my son was born and then I was terrified,” admitted Lori Woodward, a Gilbert  Estate attorney. To help parents with similar concerns, Lori has put together a Kid’s Safeguard Plan, including:

Planning and Nominating Long Term Guardians
Nominating Short-term Guardians
Written Instructions for a nanny or caregiver.
A Family Emergency ID Card
Confidential Exclusion of Guardians
Instructions to Guardians

On July 31, 2006 nothing would ever be the same for a San Diego family who were traveling through Arizona.  The Barber family was in a tragic car accident on Highway 98 near Page, Arizona.  Melanie and Casey, the loving parents of three little boys, ages 3, 6 and 9, died.  Their family was thrown into a nightmare.

This is a true story. Mel and Casey had talked about naming guardians to provide for the care of their three sons and the money they’d leave behind. They never got around to it.  They likely thought their family would be able to work out who would care for the boys and their money, with love and grace, if anything happened.

That’s not what happened.  After the accident, the boys were in the foster care system for a short time until family members could be located.  Since then, over 1,000 pages of court documents have been filed, 9 lawyers, and tens (or even hundreds) of thousands of dollars later, the boys will live with their aunt Janine and their money will be managed by a professional charging $100/hour until the turn 18.  At which point, the boys will share $22.8 million dollars from the jury verdict in the wrongful death lawsuit of their parents and settlements with other defendants.

Is that what Melanie and Casey would have wanted?  We will never know what they would have wanted, but we can be sure they would have done everything they could to avoid what happened.  If only they knew how easy it would have been to take care of it.

It does not have to be this way.  Putting together a Kid’s Safeguard Plan is simple and can protect your kids from this unthinkable situation.

Learn from their experience!  It’s Easy to Protect Your Family and Your Assets with the guidance of a lawyer who focuses on parents like Lori.

By consulting with Lori, you can relax and rest assured your kids will never be taken out of your home or raised by anyone you wouldn’t want.Don’t be one of those people who think they know what to do and leave their loved ones with a complicated mess.  Most LAWYERS don’t even know what’s necessary to keep your kids in the hands of people you know and trust.

Readers of my blog, who own their own home and have minor children, can meet with Lori for an absolutely free personal Family Wealth Planning Session (normally $750) to ensure this never happens to your kids.  If you already have a plan in place, but want to make sure it adequately protects your kids (most don’t!), ask for your free plan review (normally $950).

To schedule your no-charge Family Wealth Planning Session, call (480) 788-8010 now and mention my blog now.

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February 18, 2014 Blog, Uncategorized By admin No Comments

FOR THE CHILDREN’S SAKE: MONTHLY ONE ON ONE MEETINGS WITH YOUR NANNY

Meeting monthly with your nanny  insures  long term success. After placing a candidate, we send the family a monthly email, suggesting they sit down and ‘clear the clutter’ and work out anything that’s bothering them. If this doesn’t happen, there can be tension in the home. The parent often doesn’t want to rock the boat, because the nanny is home with the child all day. I’ve had some Moms who are frustrated that the pan of macaroni and cheese is sitting on the counter all day, but she would rather fire the nanny and get another one, rather than confront. Moms may sign up for a nanny without realizing that they’ve signed up to be a manager.

I frequently call to get a reference on a nanny and am told, ‘she’s a great nanny except that she’s five minutes late every day’, or ‘she left the house messy’. My next question is, ‘How did she respond when you brought it up?’  ‘Oh, I never mentioned it because she was so good with my child.’ Is this really fair to the nanny? Now she has this flawed reference and all along she thought that you really didn’t care, plus she’s bringing this bad habit into her next job.

Sometimes parents don’t want to take the time to sit and have a monthly one on one with their employee. But here’s why it pays off. When someone’s given focused time, they feel loved, appreciated. Guess who receives the overflow of that love? Your child, your home. Guess who absorbs the tension in the air if you don’t? Your child, you and your employee.

I recall when my husband and and I were not getting along.We didn’t say a word in front of them, but the kids fought constantly. Once we made up, there was amazing peace and harmony between the kids. They just knew.

It’s not easy to confront employes, but having a regularly scheduled time to go over what’s going right and what’s not makes it easier. They already know there’s something wrong, you can’t hide it. Having this time scheduled also helps avoid the slip into the realm of friendship. You’re friendly, you enjoy each other, but you’re still their employer.

When I interview nanny candidates, I recommend that if those monthly meetings aren’t happening, that they ‘manage-up’. I suggest bringing brownies and saying, “let’s sit down Thursday for a few minutes. I want to find how I can improve.”

It’s hard for the nanny to tell the employer when she’s not happy, because she has a different personality. Her perspective in life is to serve others and we purposely look for candidates with a servant’s heart. But if the employer is coming home 30 minutes late several times a week, and the nanny is receiving the same pay, this isn’t easy to bring up. Give your employee time to voice concerns.

The reason for the monthly one on ones is for the children, for long term, satisfying relationships where both sides feel valued and understood.
For the children’s sake.

Beth Weise

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October 28, 2013 Blog By admin No Comments

BEING MATTER OF FACT: 5 Ways to Free Children to Mature Socially and Academically


Kids love it when their parents, nannies and babysitters are calm and ‘matter of fact’. It frees them up to take responsibility for their own actions, rather than reacting to their caregiver’s emotional response. Disappointment and anger cloud the real issues. As Hal Runkle affirms in his easy to read, Screamfree Parenting, airline stewardesses instruct passengers to fit the oxygen mask to their own face before helping their children. Parents need to take care of and focus on their own behavior, so they’re able to give their children the help they need.
Research shows that a negative emotional reaction from a parent, nanny or sitter inhibits a child’s ability to manage their behavior, diminishing social skills and academic performance.

  1. Don’t take it personally when your children break the rules. You’ll get upset, react, then feel guilty. Next, you’ll back off from needed discipline, children will disrespect your authority even less, and go on to disobey even the most permissive rules.
  2. Don’t over-react. If you punish a child for an emotional display, it makes them feel they have even less control over their world, or that a big emotional display is the way to get what they want. Model self control.
  3. Don’t under-react. What your child needs is a curious observer. Nannies, parents and sitters need to be curious and ask questions. Get down face to face, stay calm and gentle. Be a good listener. Use a quiet tone of voice, and offer a helping hand.
  4. Validate the emotions they’re feeling. Don’t make light of how they’re feeling. “Awe….I’m so sorry you’re feeling angry (frustrated, tired, sad, hurt).” Commiserate with them as you would a friend. Let them know you hear what they’re saying or feeling, and continue to ask questions to find out why they’re behaving this way.
  5. Focus on the problem. Be matter of fact, interested, curious, and really care about their heart. As you’re asking open-ended questions, kids usually figure out a solution on their own and can see how their behavior and attitude have caused the problem.

Beth Weise

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September 28, 2013 Blog By admin No Comments

CLOSE ENCOUNTERS OF THE CHOKING KIND–ARE YOU PREPARED?

Ashley, our Nanny Recruiter began choking on some taffy candy in the office, and a discussion ensued about our mutual choking experiences. We discovered that just between Jenny and Ashley, seven lives have been saved by performing the Heimlich Maneuver! Ashley used it on her first day on the job as a live-in nanny in England!

Jenny observed a Mom jumping out a car ahead of her while at a street light, running to the back seat, grabbing her baby out of his car seat, flipping him upside down and pounding on his back right in the middle of the road. Watching this scenario made an impact on Jenny. Ashley witnessed a petite wife perform the maneuver in a restaurant on her husband  twice her size. She failed twice, and with no one else coming to her rescue, she desperately slammed his front side into the table edge and he survived.

Jenny was with her son Carter, age one, eating chips in a Mexican restaurant when he began choking. With the picture of the roadside rescue in mind, she immediately flipped him upside down, and performed the Heimlich Maneuver  to dislodge the chip. Another time, she was in a Moms’ group and the mother of a six month old was feeding apple slices to the infant,

who began choking. Jenny gave her step by step direction to perform the procedure, and their teamwork paid off.

Popcorn is one of the biggest dangers for young children.  A three year old boy died soundless, in a movie theatre, while choking on popcorn with his family right next to him. Another incident was of a three year old girl, whom after choking on popcorn,  had a piece of the popcorn lodged in her throat and had to have it surgically removed.

Any age child can choke. Jenny was tutoring a third grader who got a chicken nugget caught in his throat. Jenny quickly did the maneuver on him, and the nugget went flying across the room. When Mom arrived home, the boy said, “Mom, Jenny saved my life today!”

Another time, Jenny (who has 13 years of nanny experience) was nannying for a family. She and both parents were in the kitchen and the one year old, strapped in the high chair, began choking. The Dad was pulling off the tray and trying to unlatch the straps, but in his panic, was fumbling. Jenny grabbed the scissors, cut the straps, and did the maneuver, saving he child’s life.

Jenny won’t leave her children with a sitter until they’ve demonstrated the Heimlich Maneuver to her satisfaction. “You can train for it, but I don’t think anything can prepare you for that moment when you have to use it.”

Her own son Carter, age two, climbed onto her bathroom counter and opened a Tylenol bottle and other over the counter medications and she found 50 pills scattered over the floor when she discovered him. They rushed to the ER and kept him there for observation. “I had every inch of my house baby-proofed, but they still got into things,” Jenny shared.

While Jenny was taking a shower, Chase, age two, scooted a stool to the counter, climbed up to the medicine cabinet and open the “child-proof ” cough syrup bottle. They called Poison Control and rushed him to the ER, where they monitored him over the next six hours.

One of the boys sprayed a poisonous cleaning substance into his face after breaking the child-proof latch on the cabinet below the kitchen sink. “I love those babies, but that age from 18 months to age three, is really challenging,” Jenny groaned!

Consider these facts and cautions:

  • A child’s trachea is the size of a drinking straw in diameter, which is why a popcorn kernel is so dangerous.
  • Choking is the fourth leading cuse of unintentional death in children under five.
  • Never leave a child unattended while they’re eating
  • Meal and snack time need to be calm and unhurried.
  • No eating while walking, playing or riding in the car.
  • Children need to sit upright while eating and have sufficient teeth plus the muscular and developmental ability for the food chosen
  • Cut food into small peices, cook or steam vegetables to soften them and cut hot dogs lengthwise and widthwise.
  • Use only a small amount of peanut butter or cream cheese, as these foods can stick to the roof of the mouth and cause choking.
  • Coins and small toy parts can be dangerous for babies and toddlers who are discovering the world through their mouth.
  • Regularly review the Heimlich Maneuver
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August 31, 2013 News By admin No Comments

3 R’s of Parenting; Respect, Resilience, Responsibility (Almost FREE CLASSES)

Announcing INA’s Fall
2013 Virtual Learning SeriesWith
Doctor G, Deborah Gilboa, M.D. “3 R’s of Parenting; Respect, Resilience, Responsibility in Children, Charges, and Employees”
We’ve met her at the INA Annual Conference, and now Parenting Expert and board certified family physician Deborah Gilboa, M.D., aka “Doctor G,” has teamed with the INA to present INA’s Fall 2013 Virtual Learning Series based around her 3’R’s of parenting;: Respect, Responsibility and Resilience.
“We live in a busy world. Parents and caregivers rarely get to hit the pause button and learn new skills and information on age appropriate topics. The key to raising kids who can launch successfully, lies in character building,” says Doctor G. “These webinars are intended to further empower parents and care givers. My goal is to validate and appreciate the difference that they make in their kids’ lives through intentional parenting. When parents are effective, kids get healthier!”
Each 90-minute stand-alone webinar focuses on a character trait, rational and real life age specific application of the 3R’s. This webinars series can be experienced individually or as a package. Participants are invited to join one, two, or all three webinars. The three webinars are open to the public as well as INA members. Members may register free of charge by logging into their nanny.org account and completing the form on the “My Home” page. Non-members may participate by either purchasing individual webinar sessions or a package of all three sessions through the INA e-store www.nanny.org/estore-webinars , or by joining the INA.

Webinar dates and topics:
Webinar One: Teach Respect September 15, 2013 Time: 9pm EST/6pm PST
Teach Respect. It’s not what you say, but how you say it! Back to school means back to basics with character building skills. Kids and adults both need help to interact respectfully. Doctor G gives concrete tips and tools to teach respectful behavior, towards others and oneself!

Webinar Two: Resilience October 20, 2013 Time: 9pm EST/6pm PST
Teach Resilience. Life flows better when we have the tools we need to handle the tough stuff. Setbacks and challenges will arise and Doctor G explains how to lay the groundwork for resilience, while managing obstacles when they occur.http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mqSHY5kD7sI·

Webinar Three: Responsibility November10, 2013 Time: 9pm EST/6pm PST
Teach Responsibility. A good work ethic can be the difference between surviving and thriving. Doctor G shares activities and tips to pass on a responsible attitude to charges, employees, and loved ones! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uzSw5kXwGOE

Doctor G empowers parents to increase their knowledge and activate their existing parenting instincts. Sometimes, these skills get dampened by stress, doubt and guilt with the pace and volume of everyday activities. “We all want to raise kids to be people that we respect and admire,” says Doctor G.

Doctor G is the author of three “little books,” and her upcoming book will be published during Fall 2014 by Demos Publishing. She offers workshops, seminars, virtual events, and more to meet the needs of parents worldwide who reach out with their parenting concerns and questions. A board certified family physician, she is the creator and author of askdoctorg.com, an online resource for parents. Doctor G is a regular contributor to Pittsburgh Today Live, PBS’ iQ Smartparent, and numerous print and on-line publications including Huffington Post and Parents.com. www.askdoctorg.com.

Beth Weise

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June 20, 2013 News By admin No Comments

Friday, June 21 – Batman Character Dinner at PlayFactory at Desert Ridge

A fun Batman Character Dinner at the PlayFactory at Desert Ridge is Friday June 21 at 5:15 PM. Boys and girls are invited to come dressed in their favorite Batman or superhero costume. The dinner will include pizza and drinks for the whole family. The Play Factory features a giant climbing play structure, bounce houses with slides, rock climbing walls, a video game playing and more. Socks are required to play. Our own nanny recruiter Ashley Zehring will be there helping kids create their own batman masks!

Where: PlayFactory at Desert Ridge

21001 N. Tatum Blvd., Phoenix
When: 5:15 PM – 6:45 PM
Who: Public Welcome
How: Advanced registration required. 602-473-7529
Cost: $29 per family. Limit 2 adults and 3 kids per family. $10 charge for any additional child or adult.

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June 15, 2013 Blog, Uncategorized By admin No Comments

ARE YOU FRIENDS WITH YOUR NANNY? TIGHTEN MUSHY BOUNDARIES

Boundaries in the home with a nanny are naturally confusing.There are two basic ways you relate to others: There’s a business relationship with someone or a family relationship. The business relationship is based on: ‘I have something for you”. The basis is performance. You perform for me and I perform for you. The family relationship with someone is based on: “I am something to you. It’s what I am to you. The basis is a commitment. A permanent committed relationship. Here’s an example of how these two relationships work out.

There are two different ways you can live in someone’s house. Generally, you’re either there as a tenant or as a family member. If you’re a tenant, the person who owns the house is your landlord and you rent their house. You can have a pretty good relationship with them as long as you pay the rent and respect the property.

But the relationship has structure and rules that are mechanical.There are rules for the tenant and the landlord also has certain rules he must follow. The landlord has to do maintenence. You can have a pretty good relationship, but the basis of your approach and the interchange is a mechanical one of goods and services. One of the problems is that when you live in a house and you see the boarders every day, the relationship continually tries to move off the business relationship into friendship. You start to not just give goods and services but listen to their problems and and start to move into friendship, and it’s hazardous. What happens when you have to put the screws to somebody when they aren’t paying the rent and they have become your friend and they’re not taking care of the property? A business relationship is a conditional one, but family relationships move towards being unconditional.

The business relationship is based on what you have–performance, and the family relationship is moving towards who you are. One is conditional and one is unconditional. One has to do with your doing and one has to do with your being. You’ve gotta watch out. You can’t become friends with the tenants.

At home, you’re supervising a nanny and you’re both crossing boundaries and she becomes your friend. Now what happens when she’s not towing the line, not coming through on her job description? Or, you start leaving the dishes in the sink on Sunday nights, and soon, it’s every night. It’s very difficult, very dissonant. There are two basic types of relationships and there’s a need to keep the tension between the two.

At home, you’re supervising a nanny and you’re both crossing boundaries and she becomes your friend. Now what happens when she’s not towing the line, not coming through on her job description? Or, you start leaving the dishes in the sink on Sunday nights, and soon, it’s every night. It’s very difficult, very dissonant. There are two basic types of relationships and there’s a need to keep the tension between the two.

You can also be living in the home of your parents and you’re not a boarder, you’re a child. The paradigm is different. The business relationship should work like: “If you perform you’ll be accepted. The way the family relationship works, is “that since your’re accepted, you should perform”. It’s two completely different ways of relating.

We’ve recently have had nannies reporting clients breeching boundary lines by asking indiscrete personal questions. When the nannies try to deflect those questions, the clients will as much say, “I feel I can’t trust you, because you’re not being completely open with me.”

We all want someone who will love our children as much as we do and who’s like a member of the family, and yet we need to walk that tightrope, so the relationship stays friendly, but business-like. I’m not saying this is easy, and the longer you’re together, the more you need to work on it.

If the boundaries at your house have gotten soft and mushy, how can you take back ground?

1. On your next Monthly Meeting share your failure to maintain the proper relationship. Nannies can have hurt feelings when Moms go back and forth on boundaries. One Nanny had a Mom who regularly made the nanny her ‘best friend’ and then ‘cut her off’ emotionally. when she realized she’d gone too far.  Another Mom kept the nanny as her BFF, but when family came to visit, she became ‘The Help’.

2. Have regular evaluations with your nanny, either quarterly or at six months and a year. We have a Performance Review available. Just reply to this email and we’ll forward it to you.
3. Be award that you may have crossed her boundaries as well, perhaps by regularly coming home late and not expecting to pay extra, or slowly adding to her work load without mentioning any reimbursement, or by sharing marital discord with her.
4. If you’ve never sat down and filled out a Working Agreement, it’s not too late. This agreement delineates her responsibilities, schedule, reimbursement and many other practical guidelines that you decide on together.
5. Keep evaluating if you’re both walking the tightrope. Be friendly, but not BFFs. It just doesn’t work.

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June 8, 2013 Blog, Uncategorized By admin No Comments

3 VITAL AREAS OF EDUCATION YOUR NANNY MUST SUCCEED AT

Education deeply impacts the personality of  a young child and is a much broader subject than we normally realize.

Education affects personality.

Your nanny has enormous influence on the personality and academic achievement of your child by creating the right educational environment for them.  The intelligence environment that you and she cultivate will make all the difference in the world for your toddler.

Speaking Broadly About Education

I’m speaking in the broadest sense that goes way beyond workbooks or organized learning or classrooms. Most of her time will be spent educating your toddlers in three vital areas of life until they develop mastery themselves:

1. Morals, health and safety and life skills.
Your child’s personality is greatly shaped by her focused, continual, passionate attention to these goals. She will be teaching your child to be patient, thoughtful, caring, goodhearted, respectful, unselfish, generous and responsible.

2. Healthy Habits
Her second goal is to help her develop healthy habits like washing hands, brushing teeth, picking up toys after playing with them, making his bed, helping with simple chores, like folding  clothes, matching socks, putting away the silverware in the dishwasher, clearing the table.

3. How To Think
Along with these skills and mindsets, she must teach the child how to think, how to make sound judgements, how to apply logic and reason to her life.

Encouraging Strengths
Neither you nor your nanny can change your child’s genes or basic makeup, but you can recognize and work with them. You can minimize the negative traits,  encourage strengths, and maximize natural gifts.

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May 22, 2013 News By admin No Comments

Interview with Ashley Zehring, Caring Nannies new Nanny Recruiter

Q. How did you get started in your Nanny Career?
A. I started  babysitting at age 13, then went on went on to a Day Care Facility, but there I missed the one on one relationships with the children. The other down side was that I got pinkeye, pneumonia, mono and bronchitis all in one month working at the Center.
Later, a friend of a friend asked me to care for a 10 month old and an eight year old full time, so I nannied for two years for them. I watched the baby learn to walk, talk at 12 months, and potty trained and swimming by age two. The sense of satisfaction knowing that I’d helped her progress, had a deep and lasting impact on me. She loved me, I loved her, and we had that connection. She called me ‘My Ashley’.  Being responsible for a child so dependent on me, gave me a sense of responsibility and helped me mature. We danced and sang all day long. The Mom told me “she has a part of your personality”. She took after me and I thought that was so special!  I’ve been close to the family ever since. Recently I sat for them for a family emergency. “We don’t want anyone else”, they told me.

Q. What other experience have you had with children?
A. I nannied for a family in England as a Live-In, and taught summer camps in Canada for two summers, creating and implementing curriculum for 80 children ages 5-10. It was very difficult! But it gave me insights into understanding the dynamics of working with kids of different ages.

Q. What led to your moving into the Nanny Recruiter role?
A. A nanny job with a 14 year old was ending just as Caring Nannies was getting super busy. The timing was perfect.  I’ve had a plethora of experiences as a nanny that help me relate to other nannies and give me the discernment to know if they have the key qualities  for this field.
Q. So how do you pick the nannies?
A. I look for candidates who relate well and are engaging. They need to be able to interact with the child as well as the parents. It’s a family dynamic she’s moving into and she needs to be able to intuitively and  proactively assess needs and meet them. There are so many needs in a household, spoken and unspoken. She needs to be able to look at a room and see what needs to be done. Be reliable, trustworthy, kind, patient. If someone can walk into this office and put me at ease, she can put a child and a parent at ease.

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About Us

Caring Nannies has been matching nannies with families since 1983. Whether you are a seasoned nanny or just starting, we will help match your passion with a dream job you’ll love!

Contact Information

(480) 946-3423

jenny@acaringnanny.com

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