October 28, 2013 Blog By admin No Comments

BEING MATTER OF FACT: 5 Ways to Free Children to Mature Socially and Academically


Kids love it when their parents, nannies and babysitters are calm and ‘matter of fact’. It frees them up to take responsibility for their own actions, rather than reacting to their caregiver’s emotional response. Disappointment and anger cloud the real issues. As Hal Runkle affirms in his easy to read, Screamfree Parenting, airline stewardesses instruct passengers to fit the oxygen mask to their own face before helping their children. Parents need to take care of and focus on their own behavior, so they’re able to give their children the help they need.
Research shows that a negative emotional reaction from a parent, nanny or sitter inhibits a child’s ability to manage their behavior, diminishing social skills and academic performance.

  1. Don’t take it personally when your children break the rules. You’ll get upset, react, then feel guilty. Next, you’ll back off from needed discipline, children will disrespect your authority even less, and go on to disobey even the most permissive rules.
  2. Don’t over-react. If you punish a child for an emotional display, it makes them feel they have even less control over their world, or that a big emotional display is the way to get what they want. Model self control.
  3. Don’t under-react. What your child needs is a curious observer. Nannies, parents and sitters need to be curious and ask questions. Get down face to face, stay calm and gentle. Be a good listener. Use a quiet tone of voice, and offer a helping hand.
  4. Validate the emotions they’re feeling. Don’t make light of how they’re feeling. “Awe….I’m so sorry you’re feeling angry (frustrated, tired, sad, hurt).” Commiserate with them as you would a friend. Let them know you hear what they’re saying or feeling, and continue to ask questions to find out why they’re behaving this way.
  5. Focus on the problem. Be matter of fact, interested, curious, and really care about their heart. As you’re asking open-ended questions, kids usually figure out a solution on their own and can see how their behavior and attitude have caused the problem.

Beth Weise

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September 28, 2013 Blog By admin No Comments

CLOSE ENCOUNTERS OF THE CHOKING KIND–ARE YOU PREPARED?

Ashley, our Nanny Recruiter began choking on some taffy candy in the office, and a discussion ensued about our mutual choking experiences. We discovered that just between Jenny and Ashley, seven lives have been saved by performing the Heimlich Maneuver! Ashley used it on her first day on the job as a live-in nanny in England!

Jenny observed a Mom jumping out a car ahead of her while at a street light, running to the back seat, grabbing her baby out of his car seat, flipping him upside down and pounding on his back right in the middle of the road. Watching this scenario made an impact on Jenny. Ashley witnessed a petite wife perform the maneuver in a restaurant on her husband  twice her size. She failed twice, and with no one else coming to her rescue, she desperately slammed his front side into the table edge and he survived.

Jenny was with her son Carter, age one, eating chips in a Mexican restaurant when he began choking. With the picture of the roadside rescue in mind, she immediately flipped him upside down, and performed the Heimlich Maneuver  to dislodge the chip. Another time, she was in a Moms’ group and the mother of a six month old was feeding apple slices to the infant,

who began choking. Jenny gave her step by step direction to perform the procedure, and their teamwork paid off.

Popcorn is one of the biggest dangers for young children.  A three year old boy died soundless, in a movie theatre, while choking on popcorn with his family right next to him. Another incident was of a three year old girl, whom after choking on popcorn,  had a piece of the popcorn lodged in her throat and had to have it surgically removed.

Any age child can choke. Jenny was tutoring a third grader who got a chicken nugget caught in his throat. Jenny quickly did the maneuver on him, and the nugget went flying across the room. When Mom arrived home, the boy said, “Mom, Jenny saved my life today!”

Another time, Jenny (who has 13 years of nanny experience) was nannying for a family. She and both parents were in the kitchen and the one year old, strapped in the high chair, began choking. The Dad was pulling off the tray and trying to unlatch the straps, but in his panic, was fumbling. Jenny grabbed the scissors, cut the straps, and did the maneuver, saving he child’s life.

Jenny won’t leave her children with a sitter until they’ve demonstrated the Heimlich Maneuver to her satisfaction. “You can train for it, but I don’t think anything can prepare you for that moment when you have to use it.”

Her own son Carter, age two, climbed onto her bathroom counter and opened a Tylenol bottle and other over the counter medications and she found 50 pills scattered over the floor when she discovered him. They rushed to the ER and kept him there for observation. “I had every inch of my house baby-proofed, but they still got into things,” Jenny shared.

While Jenny was taking a shower, Chase, age two, scooted a stool to the counter, climbed up to the medicine cabinet and open the “child-proof ” cough syrup bottle. They called Poison Control and rushed him to the ER, where they monitored him over the next six hours.

One of the boys sprayed a poisonous cleaning substance into his face after breaking the child-proof latch on the cabinet below the kitchen sink. “I love those babies, but that age from 18 months to age three, is really challenging,” Jenny groaned!

Consider these facts and cautions:

  • A child’s trachea is the size of a drinking straw in diameter, which is why a popcorn kernel is so dangerous.
  • Choking is the fourth leading cuse of unintentional death in children under five.
  • Never leave a child unattended while they’re eating
  • Meal and snack time need to be calm and unhurried.
  • No eating while walking, playing or riding in the car.
  • Children need to sit upright while eating and have sufficient teeth plus the muscular and developmental ability for the food chosen
  • Cut food into small peices, cook or steam vegetables to soften them and cut hot dogs lengthwise and widthwise.
  • Use only a small amount of peanut butter or cream cheese, as these foods can stick to the roof of the mouth and cause choking.
  • Coins and small toy parts can be dangerous for babies and toddlers who are discovering the world through their mouth.
  • Regularly review the Heimlich Maneuver
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August 31, 2013 News By admin No Comments

3 R’s of Parenting; Respect, Resilience, Responsibility (Almost FREE CLASSES)

Announcing INA’s Fall
2013 Virtual Learning SeriesWith
Doctor G, Deborah Gilboa, M.D. “3 R’s of Parenting; Respect, Resilience, Responsibility in Children, Charges, and Employees”
We’ve met her at the INA Annual Conference, and now Parenting Expert and board certified family physician Deborah Gilboa, M.D., aka “Doctor G,” has teamed with the INA to present INA’s Fall 2013 Virtual Learning Series based around her 3’R’s of parenting;: Respect, Responsibility and Resilience.
“We live in a busy world. Parents and caregivers rarely get to hit the pause button and learn new skills and information on age appropriate topics. The key to raising kids who can launch successfully, lies in character building,” says Doctor G. “These webinars are intended to further empower parents and care givers. My goal is to validate and appreciate the difference that they make in their kids’ lives through intentional parenting. When parents are effective, kids get healthier!”
Each 90-minute stand-alone webinar focuses on a character trait, rational and real life age specific application of the 3R’s. This webinars series can be experienced individually or as a package. Participants are invited to join one, two, or all three webinars. The three webinars are open to the public as well as INA members. Members may register free of charge by logging into their nanny.org account and completing the form on the “My Home” page. Non-members may participate by either purchasing individual webinar sessions or a package of all three sessions through the INA e-store www.nanny.org/estore-webinars , or by joining the INA.

Webinar dates and topics:
Webinar One: Teach Respect September 15, 2013 Time: 9pm EST/6pm PST
Teach Respect. It’s not what you say, but how you say it! Back to school means back to basics with character building skills. Kids and adults both need help to interact respectfully. Doctor G gives concrete tips and tools to teach respectful behavior, towards others and oneself!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yYJXXHPKtM4

Webinar Two: Resilience October 20, 2013 Time: 9pm EST/6pm PST
Teach Resilience. Life flows better when we have the tools we need to handle the tough stuff. Setbacks and challenges will arise and Doctor G explains how to lay the groundwork for resilience, while managing obstacles when they occur.http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mqSHY5kD7sI·

Webinar Three: Responsibility November10, 2013 Time: 9pm EST/6pm PST
Teach Responsibility. A good work ethic can be the difference between surviving and thriving. Doctor G shares activities and tips to pass on a responsible attitude to charges, employees, and loved ones! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uzSw5kXwGOE

Doctor G empowers parents to increase their knowledge and activate their existing parenting instincts. Sometimes, these skills get dampened by stress, doubt and guilt with the pace and volume of everyday activities. “We all want to raise kids to be people that we respect and admire,” says Doctor G.

Doctor G is the author of three “little books,” and her upcoming book will be published during Fall 2014 by Demos Publishing. She offers workshops, seminars, virtual events, and more to meet the needs of parents worldwide who reach out with their parenting concerns and questions. A board certified family physician, she is the creator and author of askdoctorg.com, an online resource for parents. Doctor G is a regular contributor to Pittsburgh Today Live, PBS’ iQ Smartparent, and numerous print and on-line publications including Huffington Post and Parents.com. www.askdoctorg.com.

Beth Weise

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June 20, 2013 News By admin No Comments

Friday, June 21 – Batman Character Dinner at PlayFactory at Desert Ridge

A fun Batman Character Dinner at the PlayFactory at Desert Ridge is Friday June 21 at 5:15 PM. Boys and girls are invited to come dressed in their favorite Batman or superhero costume. The dinner will include pizza and drinks for the whole family. The Play Factory features a giant climbing play structure, bounce houses with slides, rock climbing walls, a video game playing and more. Socks are required to play. Our own nanny recruiter Ashley Zehring will be there helping kids create their own batman masks!

Where: PlayFactory at Desert Ridge

21001 N. Tatum Blvd., Phoenix
When: 5:15 PM – 6:45 PM
Who: Public Welcome
How: Advanced registration required. 602-473-7529
Cost: $29 per family. Limit 2 adults and 3 kids per family. $10 charge for any additional child or adult.

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June 15, 2013 Blog, Uncategorized By admin No Comments

ARE YOU FRIENDS WITH YOUR NANNY? TIGHTEN MUSHY BOUNDARIES

Boundaries in the home with a nanny are naturally confusing.There are two basic ways you relate to others: There’s a business relationship with someone or a family relationship. The business relationship is based on: ‘I have something for you”. The basis is performance. You perform for me and I perform for you. The family relationship with someone is based on: “I am something to you. It’s what I am to you. The basis is a commitment. A permanent committed relationship. Here’s an example of how these two relationships work out.

There are two different ways you can live in someone’s house. Generally, you’re either there as a tenant or as a family member. If you’re a tenant, the person who owns the house is your landlord and you rent their house. You can have a pretty good relationship with them as long as you pay the rent and respect the property.

But the relationship has structure and rules that are mechanical.There are rules for the tenant and the landlord also has certain rules he must follow. The landlord has to do maintenence. You can have a pretty good relationship, but the basis of your approach and the interchange is a mechanical one of goods and services. One of the problems is that when you live in a house and you see the boarders every day, the relationship continually tries to move off the business relationship into friendship. You start to not just give goods and services but listen to their problems and and start to move into friendship, and it’s hazardous. What happens when you have to put the screws to somebody when they aren’t paying the rent and they have become your friend and they’re not taking care of the property? A business relationship is a conditional one, but family relationships move towards being unconditional.

The business relationship is based on what you have–performance, and the family relationship is moving towards who you are. One is conditional and one is unconditional. One has to do with your doing and one has to do with your being. You’ve gotta watch out. You can’t become friends with the tenants.

At home, you’re supervising a nanny and you’re both crossing boundaries and she becomes your friend. Now what happens when she’s not towing the line, not coming through on her job description? Or, you start leaving the dishes in the sink on Sunday nights, and soon, it’s every night. It’s very difficult, very dissonant. There are two basic types of relationships and there’s a need to keep the tension between the two.

At home, you’re supervising a nanny and you’re both crossing boundaries and she becomes your friend. Now what happens when she’s not towing the line, not coming through on her job description? Or, you start leaving the dishes in the sink on Sunday nights, and soon, it’s every night. It’s very difficult, very dissonant. There are two basic types of relationships and there’s a need to keep the tension between the two.

You can also be living in the home of your parents and you’re not a boarder, you’re a child. The paradigm is different. The business relationship should work like: “If you perform you’ll be accepted. The way the family relationship works, is “that since your’re accepted, you should perform”. It’s two completely different ways of relating.

We’ve recently have had nannies reporting clients breeching boundary lines by asking indiscrete personal questions. When the nannies try to deflect those questions, the clients will as much say, “I feel I can’t trust you, because you’re not being completely open with me.”

We all want someone who will love our children as much as we do and who’s like a member of the family, and yet we need to walk that tightrope, so the relationship stays friendly, but business-like. I’m not saying this is easy, and the longer you’re together, the more you need to work on it.

If the boundaries at your house have gotten soft and mushy, how can you take back ground?

1. On your next Monthly Meeting share your failure to maintain the proper relationship. Nannies can have hurt feelings when Moms go back and forth on boundaries. One Nanny had a Mom who regularly made the nanny her ‘best friend’ and then ‘cut her off’ emotionally. when she realized she’d gone too far.  Another Mom kept the nanny as her BFF, but when family came to visit, she became ‘The Help’.

2. Have regular evaluations with your nanny, either quarterly or at six months and a year. We have a Performance Review available. Just reply to this email and we’ll forward it to you.
3. Be award that you may have crossed her boundaries as well, perhaps by regularly coming home late and not expecting to pay extra, or slowly adding to her work load without mentioning any reimbursement, or by sharing marital discord with her.
4. If you’ve never sat down and filled out a Working Agreement, it’s not too late. This agreement delineates her responsibilities, schedule, reimbursement and many other practical guidelines that you decide on together.
5. Keep evaluating if you’re both walking the tightrope. Be friendly, but not BFFs. It just doesn’t work.

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June 8, 2013 Blog, Uncategorized By admin No Comments

3 VITAL AREAS OF EDUCATION YOUR NANNY MUST SUCCEED AT

Education deeply impacts the personality of  a young child and is a much broader subject than we normally realize.

Education affects personality.

Your nanny has enormous influence on the personality and academic achievement of your child by creating the right educational environment for them.  The intelligence environment that you and she cultivate will make all the difference in the world for your toddler.

Speaking Broadly About Education

I’m speaking in the broadest sense that goes way beyond workbooks or organized learning or classrooms. Most of her time will be spent educating your toddlers in three vital areas of life until they develop mastery themselves:

1. Morals, health and safety and life skills.
Your child’s personality is greatly shaped by her focused, continual, passionate attention to these goals. She will be teaching your child to be patient, thoughtful, caring, goodhearted, respectful, unselfish, generous and responsible.

2. Healthy Habits
Her second goal is to help her develop healthy habits like washing hands, brushing teeth, picking up toys after playing with them, making his bed, helping with simple chores, like folding  clothes, matching socks, putting away the silverware in the dishwasher, clearing the table.

3. How To Think
Along with these skills and mindsets, she must teach the child how to think, how to make sound judgements, how to apply logic and reason to her life.

Encouraging Strengths
Neither you nor your nanny can change your child’s genes or basic makeup, but you can recognize and work with them. You can minimize the negative traits,  encourage strengths, and maximize natural gifts.

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May 22, 2013 News By admin No Comments

Interview with Ashley Zehring, Caring Nannies new Nanny Recruiter

Q. How did you get started in your Nanny Career?
A. I started  babysitting at age 13, then went on went on to a Day Care Facility, but there I missed the one on one relationships with the children. The other down side was that I got pinkeye, pneumonia, mono and bronchitis all in one month working at the Center.
Later, a friend of a friend asked me to care for a 10 month old and an eight year old full time, so I nannied for two years for them. I watched the baby learn to walk, talk at 12 months, and potty trained and swimming by age two. The sense of satisfaction knowing that I’d helped her progress, had a deep and lasting impact on me. She loved me, I loved her, and we had that connection. She called me ‘My Ashley’.  Being responsible for a child so dependent on me, gave me a sense of responsibility and helped me mature. We danced and sang all day long. The Mom told me “she has a part of your personality”. She took after me and I thought that was so special!  I’ve been close to the family ever since. Recently I sat for them for a family emergency. “We don’t want anyone else”, they told me.

Q. What other experience have you had with children?
A. I nannied for a family in England as a Live-In, and taught summer camps in Canada for two summers, creating and implementing curriculum for 80 children ages 5-10. It was very difficult! But it gave me insights into understanding the dynamics of working with kids of different ages.

Q. What led to your moving into the Nanny Recruiter role?
A. A nanny job with a 14 year old was ending just as Caring Nannies was getting super busy. The timing was perfect.  I’ve had a plethora of experiences as a nanny that help me relate to other nannies and give me the discernment to know if they have the key qualities  for this field.
Q. So how do you pick the nannies?
A. I look for candidates who relate well and are engaging. They need to be able to interact with the child as well as the parents. It’s a family dynamic she’s moving into and she needs to be able to intuitively and  proactively assess needs and meet them. There are so many needs in a household, spoken and unspoken. She needs to be able to look at a room and see what needs to be done. Be reliable, trustworthy, kind, patient. If someone can walk into this office and put me at ease, she can put a child and a parent at ease.

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May 20, 2013 News By admin No Comments

FREE Information Seminar for All Parents and Expecting Parents at The Play Factory at Desert Ridge!

Thinking About Hiring a Nanny?

The Play Factory Will Proudly Host a

FREE Information Seminar for All Parents & Expecting Parents

Thursday, May 30, from 7 to 8 p.m.

Guest speaker will be Beth Weise, Owner of

Caring Nannies  – and Ashley Zehring, nanny recruiter, the largest and most respected nanny and household-staffing agency in Phoenix.

30 years in business!

Learn How to Hire a Nanny & What the Most Important Questions to Ask Are!

Advanced registration is required by May 29th. All attendees will have an opportunity to win a $100 Gift Basket including:

Certificate for a Free Nanny for 4 hours!!!
2 Harkins Movie tickets with popcorn
Bottle of Wine & 2 wine glasses

To register, please call Caring Nannies at (480) 946-3423

For more information, visit www.acaringnanny.com

The Play Factory is located in The Desert Ridge Marketplace,

21001 N. Tatum Blvd., Phoenix – www.playfactoryparty.com

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May 18, 2013 Blog By admin No Comments

Help! He Loves The Nanny More than Me!

Picture this: Your Nanny walks through the door in the morning with her cup of coffee and a new library book. Your little munchkin runs right past you as your’e moving towards the door, and throws himself into her arms.

She laughs and scoops him up and they start breakfast. He doesn’t even bother to say goodby to you. Sound familiar? Outside of your immediate family, your caregiver is probably the most important person in your network, and nearly one-third of Moms say they have felt jealous of their Nanny.

How do you cope? First, realize you’ve found the right person for your child. Your child’s strong bonds with others will never diminish his love for you. Having good relationships with caregivers actually acelerates other healthy relationships in his life. Your Nanny is one more person who loves your child.

Secondly, create daily rituals between you and your child, like breakfast, bathtime, reading at bedtime, playing with duplos, or going out for a family breakfast on Saturday mornings.

Knowing there’s something special that just the two of you do will help you get through those moments when you feel replaced.

One Mom frequently came home with a new toy because she felt shaky about her child’s affections. Her Nanny was able to reassure her that no one could ever take her place in his life, and homecomings became much calmer.

You are irreplaceable in his life, and always will be.

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April 7, 2013 Blog By admin No Comments

How to Hire a Nanny–Asking the Right Questions

For the most important hire you will ever make, the key is asking the right questions.
A nanny takes care of your most valuable resources, your children and your home, and represents your family. You are the gatekeeper for your family, and in many ways, she will become the face of the family.
Choosing the right agency
The first question to ask is to determine which service to use. It helps to get a personal referral. When you’re shopping for a high end car, you go to the best store. This is not the time to look for a bargain and don’t make the mistake of using several agencies. You’ll likely see some of the same candidates. Read up on how they find their candidates, what their screening practices are. Look for a nice, kind, friendly agency.

A good agency will ask lots of questions. They will want to know your personality and the personality of each one of the children, your schedule, what household chores would lighten your load, like running errands, preparing a tasty dinner a few nights a week, or home management experience.

On Your mark, Get set, Go
Your first job is to decide what you actaully need and want:

  • Daily and weekly schedule- full or part time
  • Duties, expectations
  • Salary range
  • Skill sets, like bilingual, cooking
  • Educational level
  • Flexibility–like being able to travel or help with occasional evenings
  • Live-in or live-out

Be as specific as possible in your description
We recommend finding the best personality match for your family and being negotiable about specific skill-sets.

Narrowing down the candidates 

Your Placement counselor will take your Family Application and the information from the phone interview and go through their data base of nannies to find a handful of very close matches. She is doing the work for you so do consider each of them. She may start with 15 candidates and narrow the list down to 3-5 best matches for you. She is looking at the ages of children the nannies have had recent experience with, how close she lives to you, how her personality matches with yours, skill sets, schedule and salary. She is doing the digging for you. When she says, “meet everyone we send you , even if it’s just for 15 minutes”, do it.

Let the agency save you stress and  time. Trust them. A picky nanny agency will  go through 25 applications before finding one to interview. After an in-person interview, a decision is made whether to proceed with reference and background checks. Our goal is that your choice will be based on the best personality match for your family between a few top-quality candidates.

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About Us

Caring Nannies has been matching nannies with families since 1983. Whether you are a seasoned nanny or just starting, we will help match your passion with a dream job you’ll love!

Contact Information

(480) 946-3423

jenny@acaringnanny.com

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