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Teaching Children to Yell and Tell: Preventing Child Sexual Abuse
1 in 10 children will be sexually abused before their 18th birthday.

It can happen to anyone – even a child you know and love.

Even your own child. Abuse creates shame, confusion, fear, and embarrassment

These factors enable a culture that perpetuates continued abuse.

The average serial pedophile will molest 400 children during his lifetime.

Molesters are regular people with average looking faces. 90% of all molestations are committed by a family member or friend. It’s important to teach your child to be distrustful of strangers but we also need to teach them to be on guard with friends, brothers or even Granddad.

Child molestation is on the rise due to online pornography, especially child pornography.

It’s understandably uncomfortable for parents to talk to their children about this unthinkable situation. We want to protect their innocence, so we don’t warn our children, leaving them defenseless against a cunning, familiar person.

Debbie Pearl author of Samuel Learns to Yell and Tell and Sara Sue Learns to Yell and Tell: A Warning For Children Against Sexual Predators says, “In every area of life, it is usually understood that those prepared are usually spared”. We highly recommend that every family purchase one of these books and read them and talk to your children about them regularly. By teaching children about their bodies and talking openly about sexuality and boundaries, a child will be more equipped to tell you if something is making them uncomfortable. A child predator loses his power when he loses his cover. So “if all children know that they would be heard and protected when they yelled and told, then many predators would never go child hunting.” Debbie Pearl.

In Darkness to Light, a website dedicated to protecting children from sexual abuse, 5 steps to protecting children are outlined. Research and learn all you can, or take their online course.

  1. Learn the facts-Read Yell and Tell to your children every few weeks to keep the ideas fresh in their minds.
  2. Minimize the opportunity-Our children are given to us to protect and nurture. They need us. Predators look for the most vulnerable. Ask questions before and after leaving your child with someone.
  3. Talk about it-Tell your children every day, “I love you and want to keep you safe, so always tell me anything that needs to be told.”
  4. Recognize the signs-Ask questions. Watch for signs of fear and anxiety in your child concerning  friends or family
  5. React responsibly-If you react with anger or disbelief, the child will shut down and think it is their fault and internalize damaging guilt and shame.

Caring Nannies is starting a pilot program to to come alongside families and provide the Darkness to Light program to nannies for another layer of protection.
“Your children need to know that they can come to you at any time and any place and that you are ready to listen and take action to protect them. They will not understand this naturally; it is your responsibility as a parent to effectively communicate this message.” Debbie Pearl.

Beth Weise

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How did a family successfully cut technology out of their child’s life and what were the surprising results?

I interviewed my daughter Erika Frazer,  a new RN and the mother of a four year old and a 2 month old, after they made a seismic change in their household to cut out technology. I was surprised when she told me that her husband Steve was behind it all.

What made you suddenly decide to turn off all technology? Not just the TV, but the iPad and the cell phone?

“I’d been hearing about the negative effects of technology, and kept it all off during the day, but we were used to the TV being on a lot and Dad had his iPhone and iPad in hand.

He watched a Ted Talk about the effects of TV on children ‘s brains.”http://www.wimp.com/mediachildren/ See more below.

“Since seeing the report, we only turn on the TV after kid’s bedtimes.”

What about youtube videos about nature and science?

After being off technology for two weeks, Steve let her watch  some educational youtube videos about insects for about 10 minutes one Saturday and her attitude and demeanor changed noticeably. She became demanding and whiny.

Steve and Mia

So what are the results with your four year old? Amazing.! She’s more subdued. Naps had been a problem for the past year or longer. She wouldn’t nap, even though she was tired. She was hyperactive, demanding and whiny. Now, she’s able to shut down enough to take naps every day, and she sleeps all night in her own bed. Before, she was constantly coming into our bed at some point in the night.

Did you make any other changes during this time? No, we’ve always had a fairly good schedule for eating, bedtime and naps, and we’ve always had a  healthy diet with limited sugar. Most recently, we’ve also eliminated all sugar for her.

Is there any place for TV in your family now? Yes, recently we all sat down to watch Frozen, and had popcorn, and laughed and talked about it together. So we may do something special like that once or twice a month. After two weeks, I watched for a program that is slower paced, like Sheriff Callie, with no flashing, fast-paced backgrounds, up to 30” minutes a day. She’s still very active, that’s normal for her, but before, she was feisty and overactive.

What does she do instead? Now she’ll sit down and look at books all on her own for a half hour and she’s just generally more focused. During the baby’s nap we’ll do one creative project and then one dot to dot or work on numbers. She seems to be more absorbed in what she’s doing, and morerelaxed. She’s able to sit and play with clay for an hour. The big thing is that Dad’s on board, which makes all the difference. The change is phenomenal. We’ve been taking a family walk every night. Every day Steve comes home and he wants to take a walk because he’s wearing a fitness band on his wrist and he wants to log in miles for his team. It makes all the difference!

More about Dimitri Christakis’ TED Talk:  

Prolonged exposure to rapid change during the critical period of brain development, preconditions the mind to expect high levels of stimulation, creating  inattention in later life. Children are now expecting a reality that doesn’t actually exist. Baby Einstein is a good example of this.

The more children watch TV before the age of three, the more likely they are to have attentional problems. Specifically, for each hour they watch TV, the chances of them having attentional problems increases by 10%. The more cognitive stimulation parents or nannies do, such as reading, singing, going to a museum or zoo, reduces the chances of attentional problems by about 30%.

Beth Weise

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Caring Nannies has been noticing a new trend  with our families, and that is the increase in demand for Family Assistants. One of the benefits of being in business for the past 30 years is that we’ve seen the nanny industry evolve. Today’s parents have larger homes and busier schedules. They want it all, without losing sight of their core values-strong families and smoothly running homes.

Also called a Mother’s Helper, the Family Assistant may be working side by side with an at home parent, typically doing half childcare and half household duties. A typical position we are working to fill right now includes: organizing, shopping, running errands, picking up dry cleaning,  keeping the house clean and organized, keeping a master list of grocery items and keeping the pantry stocked, and creating a dinner meal plan for the week.

A second Family Assistant position we are currently filling for an at home parent includes childcare duties as well as meal preparation, laundry and ironing. This family travels frequently and needs the nanny to accompany them. In both positions, there is a bi-weekly housekeeper. This position is ideal for families with children in school because half days and sick days are automatically covered.

The qualities we look for in Family Assistants are a service-oriented heart, showing initiative, a self-starter, very caring, attentive to details, great customer service, communication and problem solving skills.The parent is usually in charge, but the Family Assistant is capable of caring for a baby while the parent is out, playing with the older children, preparing meals, driving children to school and activities, tutoring, managing the family calendar, doing laundry and light to full housekeeping.
If you’d like to start a search for a Family Assistant, call our office and we’ll find a customized solution for your home.

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We are very excited, as it’s almost time for National Nanny Training Day (NNTD) again! 

Caring Nannies has put together an incredible line-up of speakers! Last year, our nannies were asking for more help with the Toddler stage, so we have a great speaker back to address that specifically. Last year, we had 42 attendees in Paradise Valley and enjoyed learning together, networking and sharing!

When: Saturday April 12 from 8:30 AM to 2:20 PMWhere: Abiding Savior Community Church
515 E Continental Drive
Tempe, AZ 85281

Cost: $25 per person (includes continental breakfast and lunch!!)Have you considered having your employer ell you pay for NNTD?
Here is a flyer from Nanny Biz Reviews that can help start the conversation.

**Stay tuned, as we will be raffling off a free ticket on ur Facebook Page**

Details: This training is designed to help nannies address the unique challenges of working in a private home, to improve and expand their childcare skills, to stay current on new trends and resources within the field, and to connect and share with colleagues. Our National Nanny Training Event offers a unique mix of education, resources and networking in an informal, welcoming atmosphere. Registration includes 5 “learn today, use tomorrow” workshops, continental breakfast, lunch, networking and of course, FUN. You will receive a certificate of participation.

Topics: Brain-based Strategies for Better Thinking, Mood Management and Better Behavior, Using Music to Accelerate Learning, Toddler Naps and Behavior, Cooking a Mediterranean Meal and Making Organic Baby Food, and How to Look and Feel Your Best.

REGISTER HERE!

NNTD 2013

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Jenny Riojas, our Family Placement Counselor, was chosen as Mom of the Month by a local blogger! Here’s the story!

I met Jenny a few years ago at a moms group at church.  She was unbelievably sweet.  She and her sister in law were just so open and considerate.

Our kiddos are the same age as mine and it’s so nice to see a mom handle these ages so great.  Especially with two boys.

Jenny is funny and kind and takes great joy in her boys and it shows all over her face!
She is very dear to me and reading her answers below you can see why.

Here is Jenny’s story…..

1. How many children do you have?

List ages and names I have 2 rambunctious yet loving boys.  Carter Preston is 9 and Chase Kelan is 7.

2. Your occupation: I am the Family Placement Director at Caring Nannies in Scottsdale.  I place nannies and domestic staff with families all over the Valley.  I love my job!  It’s a business I am passionate about and it gives me the flexibility to be with my children when I need to be.

3. What is your most strict parenting rule?

At the ages that my boys are right now, I am strict about back talk and disrespect.  To anyone.  If that type of behavior is displayed, an immediate consequence is given.

4. What is the best motherly advice you have received? From who?

My parents were all about “creating memories” when I was growing up.  I have very fond childhood memories of camping, RV road trips, BBQ’s, my Dad’s silly magic shows, family game nights, and so forth.  I think that was the best advice: to create memories with your children.  It doesn’t have to be anything extravagant but I try to do things that they will remember when they are older and will tell their children about.

5.What is the biggest challenge you face balancing yourself and being a mom?

The key word there is ‘balance.’  I’m like every other Mom with lots of things to juggle every week and sometimes I feel if I’m putting too much time and energy in one area, then things are falling through the cracks in another. More often than not, I don’t feel like I have it all together.  I just do my best to fit in quality time whenever I can.  For me, that may mean leaving the laundry and sticky floors for another time….and going out for a family bike ride.  Or putting away the work laptop so I can snuggle with the kiddos before bedtime. Every little bit counts.

6. Can you share any mom tips with us?

#1  Carve out Mommy time. It’s a natural thing for Moms to put everyone else’s needs first.  I believe it is also important to remember to take care of yourself and do some things that you enjoy so that you are a re-charged and happy Mommy.

#2  Don’t beat yourself up.  We all have bad days (or weeks) and it’s easy to go to bed at night and beat ourselves up for what we feel we did wrong in our parenting.  Let the bad days go.  Moms are their own worst critics.  The next morning, those little munchkins are still going to run up to you and give you a big hug, regardless of how the prior day went.

#3 Don’t compare.  It’s great to get advice from fellow Moms but if your child isn’t reading and conjugating verbs by the age of 3 like your friend’s kid is, don’t feel like you’ve failed as a parent.

#4 Be spontaneous sometimes.  All moms need structure and routines to their days or they’d go insane; but many, many times things do not go as planned in mommyhood.  When that happens, throw the plans out the window, be spontaneous, and make the most of it.  A lot of times those turn out to be the best days.

#5  If you have more than one child, plan special one-on-one Mommy dates with each child.  My kids really look forward to this and I’m always amazed at the special conversations that take place when I am focused on them one at a time.

7. What is the hardest part about being a mom?

Moms worry a lot.  That’s a given.  We want the best for our kids.  When they are hurting, we are hurting.  We want to always protect them and shield them. But we can’t.  That’s the hardest thing.  And seeing them grow up so fast!

8. What is your favorite part about being a mom?

I’m one of those people who dreamed about being a Mommy when I was a young girl.  I’ve always loved kids, especially babies, and I simply could not wait to be a mom myself.  It’s the most rewarding yet challenging job!  I love that my kids melt my heart and keep me laughing everyday.  I love how forgiving they are of me.  I love that it is ever-changing.  Once you think you’ve mastered one stage, you’re on to the next.  I love experiencing things through their eyes.  I love that they teach me just as much, if not more, than I teach them.

9. Tell us a story….. it can be something funny your kids did, it can be an embarrassing thing that happened to you as a mother, it can be your proudest moment, the moment you felt like you were  a good mother…anything you want.

Story:

Whenever I am away from my kids or I’m traveling, I’ll leave prizes hidden throughout the house for them to find each day that I’m gone.  I’ll call with a clue that will help them find the prize. So once when they were gone for a few days and I was home alone, they surprised me by hiding notes and prizes for me.  I was cracking up with what they came up with.  One note said, “Mom, I know you are going out with your friends.  Here is a piece of gum.”
Thank you Jenny for sharing your story with us today!
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CHILDRN ARE BORN MUSIC-MAKERS: Hard Wired for Music

Research shows that musical training affects brain development in young children. Children are hard wired from birth for many things: language, physical development, social-emotional skills and . . . music.

Children are born music makers!  Children are born to sing and move; infants even as young as a few months of age can show rhythmic and tonal responses to music. Babies will often coo or sound on the resting tone of a song (usually the last note).  Toddlers can bounce to the beat and preschool age children can learn entire songs.  If this is so, why do we have such a large amount of adults who do not feel comfortable singing “Happy Birthday” or dancing in public?  The answer lies in a child’s early childhood years.

Little musicians need to be musically nurtured to develop their potential. Musical training to benefit the brain later in life

It is true that a child who is exposed to many languages will gain the phonemes of the many languages and conversely, a child who is not given adequate verbal stimulation will grow up with a limited vocabulary.  Similarly, to develop musically, a child needs to be in an environment with a wide variety of musical experiences.  The easiest and most natural time for a child to gain their basic music competence is between birth and age five.  During these years, the window for developing accurate rhythm and singing in-tune is wide open.  If a child’s musical atmosphere in their early years is filled with rich music experiences, a child will be fortunate to grow up with all the music potential they are born with!
Children get their disposition for being a music-maker from their parents.

How do I nurture this inborn music in my child?  Many parents are worried that they themselves are not musical and might destroy their little one’s possibilities of being a confident music maker.  Actually the very opposite is true.  A child gets his disposition to be a music maker by seeing the grown ups in his life joyously make music.  If your child sees you having a blast singing and cutting up the rug, they will see it is safe and they may even imitate you.  Parents are the best music models for their children!

Ways to nurture your child musically.

There are many easy ways to incorporate music into your child’s life:
  • Sing, sing, sing!  Sing in the car with the radio, make up songs (or change the words to familiar songs) about whatever you are doing with your little one, changing diaper, going to the store, eating some broccoli.  Lullaby time can be the most precious time, singing your child off to sleep with love.
  • Dance, dance, dance!  Put on your favorite dance music and move your bodies. It’s fun to invite friends over and dance together.  While playing a CD in the car is a good, your child is buckled in tight and can’t get the large movement experience that is important for rhythm development.
  • Play, play, play!  Get out the pots and pans and have a jam session to some fun and inspiring music that you enjoy.  Wooden spoons on plastic bowls and shakers of dried beans in a sealed up water bottle can make some interesting sounds for children experiment with.  Children benefit by having different sensory experiences of tapping, shaking and scraping.
If you find yourself wishing for more ways to play with your child with music, join one of the great early-childhood music programs in town.  Children learn best when they are in a relaxed atmosphere that is non-performance oriented, developmentally appropriate and lots of fun for both the children and the adults.
Active music making is a whole brain experience.  It helps children regulate their emotions; it can soothe the soul and sometimes bring peace to an over-cranky toddler.  Lastly, music is a meaningful way to bond with your child.
Kathy Rowe from Phoenix Music Together
With a MA in music education, Kathy plays flute and has joyfully taught over 20 years of music in a wide variety of settings: K-8 general-vocal education, private lessons, as well as band and choir. She discovered the joys and importance of early childhood music while working with kindergarteners in the Chicago area and noticing how so many children enter school unable to find their singing voice or move with accurate rhythm. As the founder and director of an early childhood music and movement program in Phoenix since 1999, Kathy has immersed herself in the world of music for families with young children. She is continuously learning more about the benefits of music for young children and the most recent findings on best practices in the field. Kathy has developed Drum Sing Dance, an Orff-Kodaly program for 7 to 11 yr. olds. She has completed both the Level I and the Level II Certification from Music Together LLC, studied classical guitar under Gabriel Cornella and really loves to tend her small flock of chickens, dig in her garden, and play in a mother-daughter ska band on the weekends!
Kathy will hold a Music Workshop at our National Nanny Training Day April 12. Kathy’s told us that our Caring Nannies are consistently interactive, attentive, and involved when they bring children to her classes!!!!! We’re so proud of all of our hardworking nannies!
Kathy Rowe from Phoenix Music Together
With a MA in music education, Kathy plays flute and has joyfully taught over 20 years of music in a wide variety of settings: K-8 general-vocal education, private lessons, as well as band and choir. She discovered the joys and importance of early childhood music while working with kindergarteners in the Chicago area and noticing how so many children enter school unable to find their singing voice or move with accurate rhythm. As the founder and director of an early childhood music and movement program in Phoenix since 1999, Kathy has immersed herself in the world of music for families with young children. She is continuously learning more about the benefits of music for young children and the most recent findings on best practices in the field. Kathy has developed Drum Sing Dance, an Orff-Kodaly program for 7 to 11 yr. olds. She has completed both the Level I and the Level II Certification from Music Together LLC, studied classical guitar under Gabriel Cornella and really loves to tend her small flock of chickens, dig in her garden, and play in a mother-daughter ska band on the weekends!
Kathy will hold a Music Workshop at our National Nanny Training Day April 12. Kathy’s told us that our Caring Nannies are consistently interactive, attentive, and involved when they bring children to her classes!!!!! We’re so proud of all of our hardworking nannies!
Kathy Rowe, Music Together, Phoenix
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Having a nanny when you have a home office seems ideal. But it takes a lot more communicating, flexibility and respect. When my children were younger, I wanted a home office so I could be close to them.  I loved being home and working from my laptop in the garden. Having a home office may seem like the perfect answer to balancing the demands of work and family, but it takes more communication between you and the nanny. A nanny who takes on this job needs to be more flexible and easy-going. It’s more challenging for a child to bond with the nanny when parents are in the next room, but not available. Here are some tips we’ve learned to make it work.

Present a untied front and back up the nanny.

Say goodbye in the morning just like you’re going to work, and keep it short. Have confidence in your nanny’s decisions and don’t micromanage her. If you check in frequently, the children will feel your concern and act up. Don’t reverse a decision the nanny’s made when she’s trying to get them to eat their vegetables or get them down for naps. It will undermine her authority. Your presence puts pressure on her because she’s second-guessing her tone of voice with the kids and evaluating whether that cry is rattling you.

Use your daily, weekly and monthly meetings to discuss your preferences.

Create a workspace and a schedule for your work.

Let the children know that your office is off limits and the nanny is in charge, but you can leave your door open when it’s OK for kids to wander in. Think before you  wander out right in the middle of an activity. Respect that it’s the nanny’s workspace and the kids may not want to continue their project if you come in. Let your toddler know you’ll eat lunch with her and read a nap-time story, then go back into the office.

The nanny may think she can come in a few minutes late, since you’re home, so be sure to let her know the first time she’s late, how important it is for you to start on time. You may get an important phone call right when it’s time for her to go home. Set an alarm on your phone and wrap things up on time.  When you’re done with work, stop taking calls or multitasking.

After work focus on the children completely and spend a half hour just playing with them.

Encourage Outings and field trips.  A trip to the zoo or the Children’s Museum will give them an enriching time together, allowing you to concentrate better on your job.

I loved having a home office when my children were little, but I think it was hard for my nannies. It eliminates commuting and keeps you close to your children, but  you’ll need more patience, respect, communication  on both sides.

If you have more tips or questions about working from home or hiring feel free to contact us!

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Who will raise your children if something happens to you? Learn to put together a Kids’ Safeguard Plan.

“I was never scared of dying, until my son was born and then I was terrified,” admitted Lori Woodward, a Gilbert  Estate Planning attorney. To help parents with similar concerns, Lori has put together a Kid’s Safeguard Plan, including:
Nominating Long Term Guardians
Nominating Short-term Guardians
Written Instructions for a nanny or caregiver.
A Family Emergency ID Card
Confidential Exclusion of Guardians
Instructions to Guardians
On July 31, 2006 nothing would ever be the same for a San Diego family who were traveling through Arizona.  The Barber family was in a tragic car accident on Highway 98 near Page, Arizona.  Melanie and Casey, the loving parents of three little boys, ages 3, 6 and 9, died.  Their family was thrown into a nightmare.

This is a true story. Mel and Casey had talked about naming guardians to provide for the care of their three sons and the money they’d leave behind. They never got around to it.  They likely thought their family would be able to work out who would care for the boys and their money, with love and grace, if anything happened.

That’s not what happened.  After the accident, the boys were in the foster care system for a short time until family members could be located.  Since then, over 1,000 pages of court documents have been filed, 9 lawyers, and tens (or even hundreds) of thousands of dollars later, the boys will live with their aunt Janine and their money will be managed by a professional charging $100/hour until the turn 18.  At which point, the boys will share $22.8 million dollars from the jury verdict in the wrongful death lawsuit of their parents and settlements with other defendants.

Is that what Melanie and Casey would have wanted?  We will never know what they would have wanted, but we can be sure they would have done everything they could to avoid what happened.  If only they knew how easy it would have been to take care of it.

It does not have to be this way.  Putting together a Kid’s Safeguard Plan is simple and can protect your kids from this unthinkable situation.

Learn from their experience!  It’s Easy to Protect Your Family and Your Assetswith the guidance of a lawyer who focuses on parents like Lori.

Don’t be one of those people who think they know what to do and leave their loved ones with a complicated mess.  Most LAWYERS don’t even know what’s necessary to keep your kids in the hands of people you know and trust.

By consulting with Lori, you can relax and rest assured your kids will never be taken out of your home or raised by anyone you wouldn’t want.

Readers of my blog, who own their own home and have minor children, can meet with Lori for an absolutely free personal Family Wealth Planning Session (normally $750) to ensure this never happens to your kids.  If you already have a plan in place, but want to make sure it adequately protects your kids (most don’t!), ask for your free plan review (normally $950).

To schedule your no-charge Family Wealth Planning Session, call (480) 788-8010now and mention my blog now.

Beth Weise

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Meeting monthly with your nanny  insures  long term success. After placing a candidate, we send the family a monthly email, suggesting they sit down and ‘clear the clutter’ and work out anything that’s bothering them. If this doesn’t happen, there can be tension in the home. The parent often doesn’t want to rock the boat, because the nanny is home with the child all day. I’ve had some Moms who are frustrated that the pan of macaroni and cheese is sitting on the counter all day, but she would rather fire the nanny and get another one, rather than confront. Moms may sign up for a nanny without realizing that they’ve signed up to be a manager.

I frequently call to get a reference on a nanny and am told, ‘she’s a great nanny except that she’s five minutes late every day’, or ‘she left the house messy’. My next question is, ‘How did she respond when you brought it up?’  ‘Oh, I never mentioned it because she was so good with my child.’ Is this really fair to the nanny? Now she has this flawed reference and all along she thought that you really didn’t care, plus she’s bringing this bad habit into her next job.

Sometimes parents don’t want to take the time to sit and have a monthly one on one with their employee. But here’s why it pays off. When someone’s given focused time, they feel loved, appreciated. Guess who receives the overflow of that love? Your child, your home. Guess who absorbs the tension in the air if you don’t? Your child, you and your employee.

I recall when my husband and and I were not getting along.We didn’t say a word in front of them, but the kids fought constantly. Once we made up, there was amazing peace and harmony between the kids. They just knew.

It’s not easy to confront employes, but having a regularly scheduled time to go over what’s going right and what’s not makes it easier. They already know there’s something wrong, you can’t hide it. Having this time scheduled also helps avoid the slip into the realm of friendship. You’re friendly, you enjoy each other, but you’re still their employer.

When I interview nanny candidates, I recommend that if those monthly meetings aren’t happening, that they ‘manage-up’. I suggest bringing brownies and saying, “let’s sit down Thursday for a few minutes. I want to find how I can improve.”

It’s hard for the nanny to tell the employer when she’s not happy, because she has a different personality. Her perspective in life is to serve others and we purposely look for candidates with a servant’s heart. But if the employer is coming home 30 minutes late several times a week, and the nanny is receiving the same pay, this isn’t easy to bring up. Give your employee time to voice concerns.

The reason for the monthly one on ones is for the children, for long term, satisfying relationships where both sides feel valued and understood.
For the children’s sake.

Beth Weise

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Helping children face their fears takes time, patience and a strategy.
I was feeding the ducks with my two year old granddaughter at El Dorado Park in Old Town Scottsdale, when a City landscaping truck suddenly began it’s loud safety back-up beeping noise. For a year after that, she was terrified of trucks and loud noises and had to be held whenever she heard a truck go by, even if she was inside.

Use these six tips to help your child cope with severe fears. 

1. Take your child’s fear seriously. Don’t make light of it or dismiss it.
2. Help children learn more about what they’re fearful of by reading about them or watching videos.

This may help them face their fears. Having your child go outside on cloudy and rainy days may help if they’re afraid of severe weather. I took my granddaughter on field trips to construction sites. Mr French, the foreman at the renovation of the Rosen House in North Tempe, was very friendly and explained how the backhoe and grader worked together to level the road to the house. We also watched youtube videos of construction equipment and visited a yard full of construction vehicles on Rio Salado in Tempe West of the 101 Freeway. We got library books and bought books about trucks.

3. Be warm and supportive. Tell children, for example, if they’re afraid of severe weather, that thunder and lightning won’t hurt them and that storms are a normal part of nature.

4. Talk about the things they’re afraid of matter-of-factly. Don’t overemphasize dramatic or frightening stories.

5. Expose your child to what he fears in small, nonthreatening doses and be patient and sympathetic.

6. What if you have an unresolved fear, and you don’t want to pass it on to your child? Like spiders. The human brain responds to facts, details and knowledge. Learn with your child about spiders. Watch youtube videos and look for spider webs together.

I’m happy to say my granddaughter’s favorite toys are now trucks, and for several months, she had to sleep with Lightning McQueen, the tow-truck from the Cars movie.

Beth

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