Most families will tell you that their first priority is the family, but their actions don’t always reflect their goals. Why not use everyday moments to full advantage? When you’re driving together, for example, you have a captive audience. These are prime times for bonding as well as transmitting family values.

1. Do household chores as a team. Work together to clean up their messes when needed and invite them at an early age to learn how to fold laundry, or put away silverware and plastic dishes from the dishwasher.

2. When driving with children, ask questions about how they are thinking or feeling. My favorite questions are: “What’s the best and the worst thing that happened to you today?” Teach them your childhood songs. Remember “Zippa-De-Do-Dah” from the Lion King?
3. Reading bedtime stories together. Use a dramatic voice, make animal noises and use gestures to heighten interest
4. Enjoy washup and bathtub time together.

5. Standing in line at the store? Use these moments to ask questions to draw out their intellect and understanding, like, what’s this made out of? Metal or plastic?
6. Take a walk together. Point out the beauty and amazing details of nature.
7. Play a game together.
We’re in a society where family members may be too busy for their own good. It’s crucial that we utilize these overlooked moments that fly by so quickly. Right now you may feel that the drudgery, sleeplessness, dirty diapers or soccer practices are overwhelming. But blink your eyes and they’ll be packing for college. You have just a few years to teach your values, to produce mature, respectful, responsible, service-minded adults. So reclaim those daily opportunities for your well-thought through long-term goals, because these down times are largely the stuff of life.

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[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kxSXAECbV64[/youtube]
The leading cause of death for children four and under after birth defects is accidents. After auto accidents, drowning is the leading cause of death for young children.Being at the pool or the beach in the summer sun is definitely fun, but it comes with some risks. We’ve made it through half of the summer and there have been several toddler pool-related deaths already.
Here are 7 key safety tips to take into the last weeks of summer.
1. Like the amazing 16 month toddler in the video, teach your children water safety as early as possible.  Some gyms have indoor pools and teach lessons year round.
2. Take a CPR class.
3. The main cause of adult distraction is needing to run into the house for food, sunscreen, a towel, answer the phone or door. Always insist that the child come out of the pool and take them with you into the house.
4. Assign one person to be the lifeguard, who has no phone or magazine, and is preferably in the pool with the child. In 46 percent of drownings, a child was under supervision of both parents.
5. Don’t depend on floaties. They give a false sense of security, but can pop or slip off. Use them sparingly.
6. Clean up all floating toys every time you’re done swimming and do not use chlorine floating dispensers that look like toys. Children are attracted to them.
7. Emphasize pool risks to the babysitter and remind her of the need for continual watchfulness

Beth Weise

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How to have a Great 4th of July with Your Family. Make plans today to not let this July 4th be just another day. Create a memorable celebration for your family.

1. Plan a 4th of July party. Invite another family over or a bigger crowd. We found some fun crafts and simple desert recipes online.

Find a patriotic movie to watch together.

2. Share your feelings of gratitude for living in the USA, like many families do at Thanksgiving. Go around the table and ask each person to share two reasons why they’re grateful for America.

3. Find a story from history to share with the children, or if they’re older, give each one an assignment and ask them to share a picture and some facts about their hero for your Independence Day celebration.

4. Use what you have on hand, like hands and feet, to create this 4th of July flag as a team effort.

The favorite traditions for our family of six kids growing up for the 4th were homemade ice cream, watermelon seed spitting contests, and sitting on the roof to watch the fireworks. From our home in North Tempe, we could see the big fireworks from ASU, SRP Pera Club, and three to four other locations.

Have a wonderful Independence Day and family day!
Beth

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A fun Batman Character Dinner at the PlayFactory at Desert Ridge is Friday June 21 at 5:15 PM. Boys and girls are invited to come dressed in their favorite Batman or superhero costume. The dinner will include pizza and drinks for the whole family. The Play Factory features a giant climbing play structure, bounce houses with slides, rock climbing walls, a video game playing and more. Socks are required to play. Our own nanny recruiter Ashley Zehring will be there helping kids create their own batman masks!

Where: PlayFactory at Desert Ridge

21001 N. Tatum Blvd., Phoenix
When: 5:15 PM – 6:45 PM
Who: Public Welcome
How: Advanced registration required. 602-473-7529
Cost: $29 per family. Limit 2 adults and 3 kids per family. $10 charge for any additional child or adult.

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In our family, we started reading to our children from the time they were babies. It created strong bonds, sped them towards academic excellence, accelerated their speech and communications skills, logical thinking, and increased concentration and discipline.  NPR recently reported that high school student’s reading levels are stuck in 5th and 6th grade levels and older students are not tackling more difficult material. Reading to children is by far the best way to help children be successful in school and in life.

Why do some books stay popular for generations? George McDonald, the 19th Century Scottish storyteller, said that the best children’s books are the ones where parents are looking over their kids shoulders.

When your toddler  is at the stage when they want the same book read 12 times a day, it had better be fun for you to read!

Here are a few of our all time family favorites that met that test.

PAT THE BUNNY

This classic book is so interactive that neither babies nor their parents ever tire of touching the bunny, feeling Daddy’s beard or trying on Mommy’s ring.

GOODNIGHT MOON
This classic book delights every child and they never tire of it’s sparse words at the end of the day. It becomes their cue that it’s bedtime and they settle down and easily slip into sleep and parents enjoy it just as much as the babies.

WHERE IS BABY’S BELLY BUTTON?

This is newer than the books I enjoyed with my own children, but my grandchildren love it.

Babies and toddlers don’t realize that things exist when they’re hidden, so they are surprised every time you uncover a hidden belly button or toes.

THE VERY HUNGRY CATEPILLAR

After finding a huge green hornworm as big as my finger, eating our pepper plants last Spring, I brought him in a jar to show my two year old grandaughter. We made a green catterpillar and  fruits and vegetables out of playdoh and re-enacted the story.

GREEN EGGS AND HAM

The wonderful Dr Seuss rhymes and outrageous stories and pictures is one most parents were raised on and continue to enchant toddlers today.

CORDUROY

The lonely teddy bear that had to live in a department store until a young girl was able to save up her allowance and bring him home is endearing to parents and children alike and makes children feel loved and cared for.

WHERE THE WILD THINGS ARE

Maurice Sendak died just last year and he left a wonderful legacy of his love for children with this book. We read this book over and over as our children were growing up and they love the wildness of it and that it was all peaceful by the time bedtime came.

THE SNOWY DAY

Great for reading this summer-Kids get out of school for a day of frolicking in the snow. Another Caldecott Award winning treasure.

CARS, TRUCKS AND THINGS THAT GO.

All of Richard Scarey’ books are favorites. Children enjoy the detailed pictures with so many interesting things going on.

THE SNOWY DAY

Great for reading this summer-Kids get out of school for a day of frolicking in the snow. Another Caldecott Award winning treasure.

THE LITTLE HOUSE

This wonderful book is by the same author, Virginia Lee Burton,  and shows how a lovely farm  home becomes encircled by the big city. The granddaughter finds it and rescues it and moves it out to the country. The detailed pictures show the seasons changing as well and the countryside, families growing up. Another award-winning book.

Our family spent many hours reading books together, and now they are buying these favorites for their children. All five of them have loved reading and are lifetime learners.

Beth

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Boundaries in the home with a nanny are naturally confusing.There are two basic ways you relate to others: There’s a business relationship with someone or a family relationship. The business relationship is based on: ‘I have something for you”. The basis is performance. You perform for me and I perform for you. The family relationship with someone is based on: “I am something to you. It’s what I am to you. The basis is a commitment. A permanent committed relationship. Here’s an example of how these two relationships work out.

There are two different ways you can live in someone’s house. Generally, you’re either there as a tenant or as a family member. If you’re a tenant, the person who owns the house is your landlord and you rent their house. You can have a pretty good relationship with them as long as you pay the rent and respect the property.

But the relationship has structure and rules that are mechanical.There are rules for the tenant and the landlord also has certain rules he must follow. The landlord has to do maintenence. You can have a pretty good relationship, but the basis of your approach and the interchange is a mechanical one of goods and services. One of the problems is that when you live in a house and you see the boarders every day, the relationship continually tries to move off the business relationship into friendship. You start to not just give goods and services but listen to their problems and and start to move into friendship, and it’s hazardous. What happens when you have to put the screws to somebody when they aren’t paying the rent and they have become your friend and they’re not taking care of the property? A business relationship is a conditional one, but family relationships move towards being unconditional.

The business relationship is based on what you have–performance, and the family relationship is moving towards who you are. One is conditional and one is unconditional. One has to do with your doing and one has to do with your being. You’ve gotta watch out. You can’t become friends with the tenants.

At home, you’re supervising a nanny and you’re both crossing boundaries and she becomes your friend. Now what happens when she’s not towing the line, not coming through on her job description? Or, you start leaving the dishes in the sink on Sunday nights, and soon, it’s every night. It’s very difficult, very dissonant. There are two basic types of relationships and there’s a need to keep the tension between the two.

At home, you’re supervising a nanny and you’re both crossing boundaries and she becomes your friend. Now what happens when she’s not towing the line, not coming through on her job description? Or, you start leaving the dishes in the sink on Sunday nights, and soon, it’s every night. It’s very difficult, very dissonant. There are two basic types of relationships and there’s a need to keep the tension between the two.

You can also be living in the home of your parents and you’re not a boarder, you’re a child. The paradigm is different. The business relationship should work like: “If you perform you’ll be accepted. The way the family relationship works, is “that since your’re accepted, you should perform”. It’s two completely different ways of relating.

We’ve recently have had nannies reporting clients breeching boundary lines by asking indiscrete personal questions. When the nannies try to deflect those questions, the clients will as much say, “I feel I can’t trust you, because you’re not being completely open with me.”

We all want someone who will love our children as much as we do and who’s like a member of the family, and yet we need to walk that tightrope, so the relationship stays friendly, but business-like. I’m not saying this is easy, and the longer you’re together, the more you need to work on it.

If the boundaries at your house have gotten soft and mushy, how can you take back ground?

1. On your next Monthly Meeting share your failure to maintain the proper relationship. Nannies can have hurt feelings when Moms go back and forth on boundaries. One Nanny had a Mom who regularly made the nanny her ‘best friend’ and then ‘cut her off’ emotionally. when she realized she’d gone too far.  Another Mom kept the nanny as her BFF, but when family came to visit, she became ‘The Help’.

2. Have regular evaluations with your nanny, either quarterly or at six months and a year. We have a Performance Review available. Just reply to this email and we’ll forward it to you.
3. Be award that you may have crossed her boundaries as well, perhaps by regularly coming home late and not expecting to pay extra, or slowly adding to her work load without mentioning any reimbursement, or by sharing marital discord with her.
4. If you’ve never sat down and filled out a Working Agreement, it’s not too late. This agreement delineates her responsibilities, schedule, reimbursement and many other practical guidelines that you decide on together.
5. Keep evaluating if you’re both walking the tightrope. Be friendly, but not BFFs. It just doesn’t work.

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Having fun with our families and creating priceless memories together is one of the best ways to build teamwork, develop closer bonds, and makes us all healthier. Watch this funny  video of Chad Morton, a stay at home Dad in Atlanta, that has gone viral with over two million hits.

Here are 8 great ways to get your family to laugh more and have fun together.
1. Be silly. Impersonate a ballerina or Dora the Explorer or their favorite Superhuman cartoon character. Act like a chimpanzee or a silly monster.
Pretend to fall off the couch, onto the coffee table and roll across the floor. Make silly faces, like exaggerated grins.
2. Start a tickle-fight. Wrestle together as a family. Get everyone involved down on the floor.
3. Make up your own silly song. Use familiar lyrics to a children’s song but add your own silly words.

4. Create a silly prank when no one is expecting it. Pretend there’s a bug and you’re scared of it, or a mouse and you’re standing on the chair. Or play hide ‘n seek all over the house.
5. Children love being chased. Clear an area and tell your child you’re going to ‘get her’.
6. Get our your old ‘knock-knock’ jokes and silly riddles.
7. Share a funny story from your childhood. When Dads share self-depreciating humor, stories of how they  failed  when they were younger, its endearing to children.
8. Watch Mr Bean videos. Dads, have your family watch this funny video of Mr Bean who tries to use the kids slide at the pool and when he gets chased off, he tries the high dive and is too scared to dive.

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Education deeply impacts the personality of  a young child and is a much broader subject than we normally realize.

Education affects personality.

Your nanny has enormous influence on the personality and academic achievement of your child by creating the right educational environment for them.  The intelligence environment that you and she cultivate will make all the difference in the world for your toddler.

Speaking Broadly About Education

I’m speaking in the broadest sense that goes way beyond workbooks or organized learning or classrooms. Most of her time will be spent educating your toddlers in three vital areas of life until they develop mastery themselves:

1. Morals, health and safety and life skills.
Your child’s personality is greatly shaped by her focused, continual, passionate attention to these goals. She will be teaching your child to be patient, thoughtful, caring, goodhearted, respectful, unselfish, generous and responsible.

2. Healthy Habits
Her second goal is to help her develop healthy habits like washing hands, brushing teeth, picking up toys after playing with them, making his bed, helping with simple chores, like folding  clothes, matching socks, putting away the silverware in the dishwasher, clearing the table.

3. How To Think
Along with these skills and mindsets, she must teach the child how to think, how to make sound judgements, how to apply logic and reason to her life.

Encouraging Strengths
Neither you nor your nanny can change your child’s genes or basic makeup, but you can recognize and work with them. You can minimize the negative traits,  encourage strengths, and maximize natural gifts.

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